Sunday, June 25, 2006

one word....locked

While cruisin' the web Saturday afternoon (HB and I had a lazy sort of day) I came across some interesting links on Kim's blog. She must have been doing the same thing! The very last one took me here.

I don't usually do this kind of thing but it was such an intriguing idea that I had to give it a try. My word was "locked"....

Some days I feel as if I'm locked inside my brain with no way out. No matter how hard I struggle against the padlock there's just no releasing it. Thoughts and ideas just fly by me, banging up against the walls, falling into little heaps of debris to be swept away by the wind. Creativity has never come easily to me.

I'm locked in this struggle to become who I am....me against my brain....it keeps telling me I can't do it and I keep trying to focus on just doing it. The key to all this is hidden somewhere deep in my soul and I haven't been able to find it. But still, I keep trying new things, learning new techniques, searching, always searching for that one thing I can create because I cannot stay locked inside. I must create....something....anything.

I manage to find little cracks in the armor where I see slivers of daylight shining through. The light dances across the darkened, dusty recesses and glitters as it reflects off ideas left behind on the walls.

If my creative abilities can just manage to widen one of those little cracks, then I can pick at it as a prisoner secretly picks at an escape hole. And I'll be able to break free and my ideas and creative thinking will no longer be locked inside my brain. Then I'll be an artist. Then I'll be me.

But in the meantime my ideas remain locked inside, and here I sit with my nose pushed up against the computer screen, peering out at all the creative people and trying to learn their secret. How did they find the key? How did they break free?

6 comments:

  1. Hi Janet: I have definitely felt this from one time to another ( I believe most creatives do). Have you read "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron??? It's all about freeing your creative roadblocks. It helped me SO tremendously earlier this year. I am now reading "The war of ART" someone recommended to me, but the AW hit the nail on the head for me! It has a workbook too! I copied the "artist's prayer" on a tag, it's in my flickr. The number one "rule" is to "show up at the page". This is really half the battle, just starting. Trying to let the creative process take over. It's certainly is a process. I know you can do it!!

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  2. wow, Janet, You did it and masterly under pressure. I just looked at the word, then was distracted, then when i got back my time had run out. Not very good writing under pressure like that, But I am going to give another shot...

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  3. I did that last night too, with the same word! Did you post your results on the site?

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  4. I'm of two minds/hearts about "locked"...

    1) Gentle. Be gentle with yourself. You have so many gifts, including a real gift of writing. You do not have to be perfect. You do not have to be right. You do not have to be an artist. You do not have to be creative. Forgive and be gentle with yourself about all that you are not.

    2) Kenneth Clark, an English scholar of fine art, wrote a book called "What is a Masterpiece." Very interesting! One thing he said that sticks in my mind is this: "A masterpiece does not aim at art, but at truth." When you write, I sense you are telling your truth... your words ring true and are so human. Your words are art and are by nature creative. Try this with your next piece... set about telling some small truth however you can. I believe work that tells a truth transcends everything else (technique, design, even originality). What about making a piece that deals with your locked brain?

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  5. Thanks everyone! I guess I didn't READ the instructions...I thought I was just getting a word to write about on the blog. SORRY to everyone. I took the word and just wrote what came into my mind but I did it on the blog. Guess I need to pay attention!!!

    And yes, I have read The Artist's Way several years ago.

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  6. Debbi Brown8:24 PM

    Hi Janet: I enjoyed reading this! You have a great way with words. I love all the things I do while attempting to be creative, but am still searching for the one that makes me say, "Yes, I truly have talent!" Something I can be passionate about! Until then, I will keep chipping away at the cracks!

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