Sunday, June 18, 2006

Remembering my dad....

After having given it much thought I decided to say a little something for Father's Day. The reason I hesitated is because I didn't really have a good relationship with my dad. Not everyone's remembrances of dads are good and happy.

When I was born my dad was serving in the navy during WWII and we didn't "meet" until I was about two years old. I guess when I was a little kid we did ok but by the time I hit my pre-teen years and from then on, we barely spoke to one another. It only got worse as time went on.

One vivid memory I have, took place in a restaurant in my hometown. My husband (my first husband, not HB) and I were there with our new baby son. We were seated at a table right near the front, and as I looked up I saw my dad walking straight towards the front door! He caught my eye at almost the same time that I saw him, and then he quickly looked away. He walked right by our table - within inches of his new grandson - and never even blinked an eye.

That day pretty much solidified the anti-relationship I had with my dad. My son was his first and only grandchild (at the time) and he didn't even stop to see him. That told me a lot about my dad.

He did some other pretty weird things in later years but that one always stayed with me. So I envy all of you out there who have or had wonderful relationships with your dad. Treasure them. I wasn't lucky in that department.

And just as I promised....Eureka!! Success at last! Here is the vest I tried to upload in the previous post. Please keep in mind this was done years ago, and with stuff I had on hand at the time....and with very little sewing experience either!!

Sorry about the crease down the center but this vest has been stored away for years.


  1. Your post will stir the pot of "dad thoughts" for sure. And that's good. Thanks!

    Have you ever done any "dad art?"

    My heart aches for you, and for your dad as well, because he denied himself excruciatingly.

  2. Thank you for visiting my blog Janet.
    Even though we can learn to forgive our parents for hurting us, I know it is impossible to forget and the occasional feeling of longing and hurt does surface.
    I have a wonderful dad. Our relationship did have its ups and downs. But now we know that we can always count on each other.
    We don't get to choose our parents which is why I really make an effort to be a decent one myself. I can't say I am an excellent mother - after all I am human. But I try real hard.
    Wishing you and your family good health and cheer,

  3. Father's Day does indeed stir the pot for many of us. You are so not alone in this, Janet.

    My sister and I used to joke, "Which would you prefer, abuse or neglect?" We each had a sample...

    I did one quilt of "Dad art" and it was so disturbing that I couldn't finish it for a few years...then last fall I took it out to the garden burn pile and finished it that way! That did feel right and good........
    My dad is still on the planet and I truly wish him peace...but I have learned that I don't have to like him, don't need that gap filled, and unless God tells me to, I don't have to see him....It's all really o.k.

    Meanwhile...Willow's poem is indeed beautiful!

  4. robin - no, I've never attempted any "dad art"...not sure if I would want to see it!
    bhavani - I try to be a good parent, too but I'm not always successful!
    allison - I would imagine I would have the same feeling if I did any dad art. Tahnk you for the comment about Willow's poem. She will be thrilled to hear that others like it.

  5. I'm sorry about your relationship with your dad, and I feel for you, as my own relationship isn't too much better.

    The vest loooks quite interesting.

  6. Cool vest mom..I remember that one!

    Maybe your dad would have stopped if it were me instead of that pesky brother of mine (kidding of course;)


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