Thursday, December 07, 2006

Last Minute Details....

Here's a little tip for people who have switched from the "old" blogger to the beta blogger....check your profile page! You may be amazed to learn that you're a lot older than you thought!! Mine said I was 176 years old!! I guess something gets screwed up when the switch is made because I looked at a few other blogs that I know have switched over and sure enough most of the profiles had much older....even 250 years old!!

OK, that's my good deed for the day! I am in the final throes of Christmas making-of-stuff. Hopefully I haven't missed anything, which always happens, so I won't be frantically trying to finish something on Christmas Eve.

Last year it was a scarf for Molly. (And for those who are new here, Molly is my daughter.) I bought some heavenly soft yarn and knitted her a scarf. I did it in stockinette stitch which is known to roll along the edges so I did a bit of garter stitch at the edges hoping that would help. I finished the scarf ahead of schedule, and set about blocking it....but nothing worked. It still rolled up into a tube when I picked it up!! So on the afternoon of Christmas Eve I found one of those "weave" scarf fabrics at Joann's and bought several skeins of fancy yarns and spent most of that evening trying to construct a scarf! I got all the yarns woven in but didn't have time to sew across the ends but I wrapped it up and gave it to her anyway.

She (bravely) said she loved it just the way it was and even wanted the "tube" scarf after I told her what had happened. I don't know if she has worn either one but at least she knew I tried!!

I'm notorious for that last valiant effort on Christmas Eve. When my kids were small, their dad usually left all the "put-it-together" stuff for me to do. He was not the handiest person I've ever know!! One year I had so many things to put together on Christmas Eve that I called in a family friend to help me. One item was a three-tiered garage and when we finally got to that box (we had saved it for last because it was so big) and sorted through the pieces....there were missing screws! And this was very late at night on Christmas Eve! Panic set in on my part but our family friend came to the rescue. He went home, found some screws that would work and came back to help me put the whole thing together. Whew! Santa made it again that year!!

I found this "Twas the Night Before Christmas" poem and it seemed to capture that last minute chaos.

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except me and my spouse

The stockings were empty, no presents were wrapped
We were way behind schedule and our resources tapped

The children were nestled all snug in the beds,
While the horrors of assembling danced in our heads

Dad armed with a screwdriver, ready and poised
To build a red trike for one of our boys.

When off in the hall there arose a strange noise
We dove over boxes to hide all the toys

The thud, it turned out, was our dumb puppy Paul
Who was chasing the cat and ran into the wall

Back to his task, Dad cursed at his mess
I suspect he was lost, but he’d never confess

He wrestled with parts and fumbled with tools
Emailed the manufacturer and called them all fools

After hours of struggle, the bike finally took shape,
With a few cuts and bruises and the aid of duct tape

He stood back and gaped at the bike he just built
It weaved and it wobbled and rolled with a tilt

His frustration grew; his voice shook as he spoke
“The directions are Greek, it’s all a sick joke”

At this point he snapped, his thinking unclear
He’ll do something stupid; this was my big fear.

He grabbed each toy’s instructions, oh why won’t he learn,
Tossed them into the fire, chanting “burn baby burn”

“Burn Disney, burn Huffy, to blazes with you
Burn Fisher Price, Playskool and Hasbro, too”

As smoke filled the room, this was his first clue
That in a moment of haste, he had neglected the flue

To the top of the mantle, to the top of the wall
A black cloud developed and ash settled on all

Soot landed on stockings and covered the tree
And gave a look of charcoal to all we could see

The firemen came, dressed in yellow, like sun
Seems the neighbors saw smoke and dialed 9-1-1

Out came the axe, out came the hoses
Out came a Dalmatian who trampled my roses.

“There’s no trouble here,” I swore up and down
Realizing this faux pas would soon be ‘round town

“My husband’s a good man,” I tried to explain
“The instructions weren’t clear. It drove him insane”

The fire chief nodded and gathered his crew
Hopped onto their truck and away they all flew

But I heard them converse as they drove out of sight
“Her husband’s the third jerk who’s done that tonight!”

By Kellie Head (c) 1999-2000

And last here is a cartoon for a few of my know who you are!!


  1. I just love the poem Janet! It made me laugh and brought back memories of Christmas Eves many years ago when we were still wrapping presents at midnight. In those days it hadn't occurred to me that you can actually wrap stuff before Christmas Eve. I can clearly remember too, creeping into the boys' room one year at 2am to leave their stockings and a little voice saying 'has he been yet?' Foiled again, I finally went to bed and set the alarm for 4am when they were finally asleep thank goodness. Happy Days:)

  2. Brought back memories of when my sons were little too. Lovely posting - I could visualise the scene. My husband too is not the least bit 'handy man', but he is brilliant, and does the washing and ironing - likes doing it - I hate it - so it is great.

  3. Just stopping in to say hi. Sounds like you've been really busy and I haven't seen you out and about too much in blogland! Love the festive look of your blog!

  4. LOL Love the LOST cartoon!

  5. For a lady of 176 you have certainly weathered well! thanks for the tip off, will go and see if I am also way more ancient than i feel today after my latest building escapades!

  6. How hillarious! I knew you weren't that old! hehe. I'm afraid to switch -- whaaaaaa. I like shopping on Christmas Eve! I'll think of you on the 24th! Ho ho ho!


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