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Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Decisions Can Be Difficult....

Thank you to all who left comments on my "getting calm" post. I've taken a few days to just think about life in general....oh, and I did finish the beaded art doll. I'll put some photos on a bit later.

Since I started this blog I've been conflicted about what it's real purpose is going to be. In the beginning I started the blog simply so I could leave comments on other blogs, and that worked for awhile but then I started writing about different aspects of my life and people seemed to enjoy that.

Then I began sharing some of my creative side and that was both good and bad. It helped me recognize that I could be creative but it also showed me how much more other people were doing. That is frustrating!

Then there's all the time involved just reading other blogs and leaving comments. If I stay current with everyone then I have no time to be creative. It's like a double-edged sword.

I've never been good at social things. I'm either too friendly or not friendly enough. I either talk too much or I don't say anything. I either turn everyone off or I make everyone laugh. I never know "The Rules" and so I break all of them! I never quite belong. And no matter what I do I always feel like a fifth wheel or the uninvited guest. I am not part of anything and yet I am. Does any of this make sense?? Plus I've received so many lovely gifts and I haven't reciprocated. Part of that has been my situation with our house, and the other part has been my lack of creativity over the past several months. And no matter what anyone says I feel as if I've let everyone down.



I guess what I'm trying to say is I am deciding if I want to continue with my blog. I've invested a lot of my time into it over the past year and a half, met some really wonderful people, learned so much, and yet it feels empty right now. I have no direction, no subject matter, nothing to write about that even remotely seems interesting.

Just by coincidence, as I had written most of the above a few days ago, I came across this post and it made me realize a couple of things. First, that I'm no longer enjoying my blog and second, that I need to focus on making it either be "me" or just let it go. I've become so involved in reading everyone else's blogs that I forget about my own! I just want my blog to be a reflection of who I am and the things I like....and if you also like those things that's great.

Creating is what I really want to do and if I occasionally have time to write something on my blog then I'll do that but I won't be on here every day and I may not even visit other blogs every day. I just can't keep up!! Apparently I'm not a very organized person because I can't seem to juggle reading a "million" blogs, leave interesting comments on all of them, maintain my home and family, and in my spare time create wonderful works of art! I can't do it!! I'm not a heavy-weight blogger!

So with all that said if I still have any readers left, then I'll continue with random blogging and hope for the best. I love all of you and I hope you aren't offended by this....sometimes my words come out all wrong.

23 comments:

  1. You just said everything I've been wanting to say lately.
    I don't leave comments very often because I don't want to sound like I'm just doing it to be nice, meaning that I can't always think of the right words to say.
    I have always enjoyed your blog and fully understand with whichever decision you make. You have to do what makes you feel good.
    Take care,
    mahala

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  2. I am not sure who wrote your posting bacause the words could of come from me. Blogging does take alot of time and takes away time from crafting. I blog for myself, to keep track of my life, quilting and my art. If others read and comment on my blog that is great. But if they do not that is also great. Blogging has opened the world to me, I have enjoyed the people I have met and seeing what they are doing. I have questioned keeping my blog and the bottom line is I blog for me and hope others accept me as I am. I did take time away from blogging and it did me good.

    I hope you find peace with your decision.

    I do read your blog daily and this is the first time I have left a comment. Your posting touch me and I just had to give my two cents.

    Your blogging twin sister, Debbi

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  3. I hope that you'll carry on with your blog even if only on an occasional basis, I know what you mean about not having time for home and family and all your interests as well as leaving daily comments on dozens of blogs - it can't be done. That's why I post fewer entries on my blog than when I started, I want to enjoy compiling the ones I do write. Commenting - I have a small core group that I always read and comment on, more that I comment when I have something to say and then once a week I try to get to everyone on my favourites list. If I haven't time then there's always next week. I'd miss all the friends I've made if I stopped altogether but you do need to make a few guidelines for yourself or it gets out of control. Do what is best for you and HB though - real friends will understand and support whatever you decide. Besides you can always change your mind later:)

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  4. Janet, I totally understand...I think we all get that way. I know I read the blogs on my bloglines - but, I don't always leave comments. I also know that my blog is for me...it is to express my thoughts, photos of my creative works, and things that I want to talk about...and if you like it you like it...and I've gottem behind in getting things done for others...but, I'll get there...once I get me squared away.

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  5. I totally understand, and my only concern was that you were unwell. Now that I learn you are okay, I'm happy.
    Post when you can, comment when you can. It's supposed to be fun, not a duty. I will continue to check in now and then, and see how you are doing.
    hugs
    xx

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  6. It is always and has always been about choices, Janet. You have the right to choose which and what things you want to do!

    This is something I evaluate on an on going basis and do as I want to. You should too! I call it blogging without obligation.

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  7. Blogging should not be a "have to" it should be a "want to". Commenting should not be a 'have to' either. The idea of blogging is to do it however one is comfortable, however much time can be devoted to it, whatever someone wants to share or show or write about. This means if it's daily or weekly or every now and again, that is the beauty of choice. It's not a competition and once we begin questioning ourselves and our worth as a blogger - something has drastically turned.
    You are not alone in these feelings, not at all. But we all have the freedom of choice in whatever direction we choose. If I blog daily does that mean I have no life? If someone blogs monthly does that mean they're aloof? No and no. It's personal to every individual. So do what is right for you, feels right, works best for YOU. I will check in as I always do...and will always be completely delighted to "See" you whenever you CHOOSE to be there!
    XOXOXO
    Love,
    Lisa

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  8. Janet,

    I say follow your heart on this one. If you decide to leave for awhile that is fine, we all be here if you decide to come back.

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  9. Janet, I feel the same way. I have visited you many times and this is the first time I have commented. I'd been blogging my life away, neglecting other areas in my life. A little time off from cyberspace and spending more time in the real world has done me good. I enjoy blogging and I have met many wonderful people, but there were times when I felt obligated to post something or say something just to be nice.
    I do hope you continue to post occasonally, but that is up to you.

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  10. This is exactly what I have been doing. I listened to my body and stop chasing blogging so much and just spend more time creating. It is more relaxing and less demanding. Somehow I had allowed myself to get sucked into blog competitive stuff. NOT GOOD. So now I'm creating and blogging once in a while and most of all not feeling guilty about it.

    I did make one mistake I will admit, I deleted my first blog. Today I wish I had not done that. So reconsider should you think of doing that. Just a reflection on a friends experience.

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  11. I'm with Mum on this one. Blog when you can. Visit when you can. Do not put any pressure on yourself to post. If it comes to you, then put up a post!
    Oh and you are right, it has to be for you. It is an online journal, not a performance. It has to be a tool for you to use creatively, or whatever. I hope you get to enjoy it again, Janet. I like your posts, and will keep checking back here. Make yourself happy!
    xoxo
    Blue

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  12. Hi Janet--Let me say firstly that you inspire me not only with your creativeness but in the way you care about others and you are always there to give a little bit of cheer when it is needed.
    If you do decide to stop blogging please know that I will always be here if you need a "chat".
    BTW "rules" were meant to be broken --you know that don't you.
    Love you heaps.
    Doreen

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  13. Janet - I think so many other people are feeling much the same way. I know I am as well. I haven't been writing on my blog very often of late. I am just not motivated to do so... for whatever reason. I still enjoy visiting others' blogs, but my own has felt like a bit of a burden.

    For now, I've also decided that I will only post when I truly have something to share - not posting just to post! I will still come see you! :)

    Your beaded doll is truly amazing!!

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  14. Hi Janet,
    I read loads of blogs and I see the thoughts you've expressed here being posted on many sites. You have to do what feels right for you and that truly is the bottom line.
    I love seeing what you create and always look forward to your posts.
    xo

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  15. Hi, Janet.
    For me blogging is about creativity and connections. If it isn't feeding those places I wouldn't do it.

    I liked the post you linked to.

    I love your beaded doll. I hope you have time for more of that!

    Blessings.
    Suzy

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  16. Dear Janet, Thank you!! You found the words I've been looking for for months! Blogging has been like a lifeline for me at times throughout the last year and a half, and I couldn't understand why suddenly (it seems) I didn't have the energy for it. Things change, that's one of the only guarantees in life (!), but how to keep up with all the lovely people I've 'met' through blogging is a real problem for me!
    Life seems pretty busy for everyone this summer, and we could all benefit from a little breather now & then...
    You are such a special lady, Janet. None of your readers would want you to feel obliged to do anything that is stressing you out, I'm sure. Your beaded doll is glorious, as are you! Do whatever feels right for you. You are loved out here in blogland :) You are wise & creative & a great friend to many. We want you to be happy!
    Love & Hugs, Suze xXx

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  17. Oh Janet - I was so excited just now when I saw your comment on another blog, and I thought, "Hooray! Janet's back!" And I saw your beautiful doll, and I started to click on the comments but the cursor slid down too far, then I saw there was this post, so I thought I'd better catch up.

    After I started reading this, I just wanted to give you a hug - I so understand - I really, really do - so much of what you've said here, reflects things I've thought and struggled with myself, in every day life and in blogging.

    I'm hoping you've decided to keep on blogging - and blogging at your own pace, about things that interest you, cause I enjoy reading whatever you write here.

    And as for the frequency of posting, I'm still trying to reach that point of balance myself.

    I think your blog does reflect you - your own creative self - and I'm always happy when I visit it, and happy whenever you have a chance to visit mine - and if you can't make it by every time I post, I understand. I know I hope everyone understands if I don't always make it by to read every post, too. If we don't take time for life, what would we have to blog about? Hope I haven't said too much - and I hope we all find balance and peace. ((Hugs))

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  18. Wow,,after reading this post and seeing every ones comments, I think we all feel the same way. I just can't do the blogging every day any more. I Love to post occasionally, but I Love reading posts of others more. My life just got turned upside with my job and I am wondering if I am going to have time to do anything any more. Very depressed right now.
    I sure do miss you and I will try to e-mail you this week-end.
    xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo

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  19. Dear Friend,
    WOW, I understand! I am not a artist, so most of what I do is with family, friends. I was and am excited to have found this outlet...but it isn't my life even though it brings me joy.
    You have alot on your plate, selling a house is very stressful, been there done it. After being ill all of May and part of June, I found it very important to get back to the land of the living...I haven't been posting, because I have been busy elsewhere.
    We all love you in Blogland, you know this to be true...and with that said, this should be fun, and not a job. Time fly's and there are just so many hours in a day. Finding our Joy...thats what life is all about. Where ever and whatever, Big Hugs, Mary

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  20. I understand too Janet! Blogging is like sewing. When YOU want to, YOU will, and when YOU don't want to, YOU won't! I take breaks all the time! Sometimes I feel like fading away completely but I DO miss my Blogging friends! (((((Janet)))))

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  21. OMG neither can I!! High five sister!

    Hugs Sherrie

    Just bee you, bee cause that's who you are!

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  22. it's good that you poured your heart out like this, because a) it is the REAL you, which is what the blogging thing is all about, and b) you said so much that seems to apply to lots of us....the battle to blog regularly, keep it real, visit, comment and still have time for a life gets too much, thanks for expressing it so well! You are not alone in this. I have done much more "lurking" than interacting lately, because you get to the stage where you feel like you are just repeating yourself all the time. But I would miss you if you stopped altogether, i have enjoyed getting to know you through your blog.
    hugs

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  23. What a beautiful post.
    I feel more and more that I am not alone with my thoughts.

    Thanks for writing this.

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