Monday, January 12, 2009

Making a Change....

My daughter has been going through a lot of changes since her long-time friend died last summer. Yesterday she made a big change. She began the trip back to our hometown where she is planning to live now. Last summer she went back there to visit but she came back to California. This time she has moved all her things and is planning to stay in Illinois. It's been very difficult for me....and for my son. We both think this move is a huge mistake. So this is my CED drawing for Sunday....


And since we're talking about changes, one of my friends has an interesting post on her blog. I would appreciate it if you could take a few minutes and go read it. It concerns making some changes in the way the government helps disabled people. You can read her post here. This is a good cause and I hope you take the time to check it out and help make a change. Afterall, isn't that what we all want to do....make a difference in the world!


  1. California to Illinois is a long way, I'm not surprised that you're upset that your daughter is moving there especially if you think she is making a mistake. It's not irreversible though, she can always come back if things don't work out as she hoped.

  2. I can only imagine how you feel now your daughter will be so far away. I wonder if she is going back to her roots, to start again, to find herself?
    If so, perhaps in time she will find her way back to CA?
    Meanwhile you can visit her, and there's always email, and phone calls.

  3. My heart goes out to you regarding your daughter. It's so painful to watch them do something that you can't get behind 100%. I hope all turns out well.
    I've caught up a little with your wonderful drawings. You just keep getting better and better.
    Take care my friend.

  4. When your daughter calls from her new home and tells you that she's happy, you will dry your tears and be happy with her.
    If she's not happy, you will receive her with open arms and you both will comfort each other.

    I am one of those daughters who left and went FAR away and left my mom with tears. She was happy to visit me, in my faraway place.

    I can imagine your sadness but she needs to do this change, even if it might be a mistake.

  5. Pirk said it so lovely, not much to add to it. It's so difficult being a parent... even when your kids get big. Thinking about you. xo

  6. I hope this doesn't turn out to be a big mistake.

    Your drawings are always amazing.

  7. Janet,

    Sorry to hear about your daughter but perhaps this is something she needs to do for herself. She can always come back to you later. I know its hard but hopefully you will be able to see some good in the situation. Sending love your way.


  8. My mother-in-law was very upset with me as I and her son went traveling into the world, but it worked out well for us. I hope your daughter's move will also!

  9. It's so hard...I know. Your drawing says it all. But hopefully you'll both feel better about it soon and things will work out for the best.

  10. I'm so sorry your daughter is moving. That has to be difficult. But, you know, you can always hop on a plane and visit and have fun in your old home town! Hugs.

  11. Oh Janet - I am so sorry to hear this. I know this is not what you wanted for your daughter. The illustration expresses your feeling perfectly (you are so talented).

    Sending much love and support your way.

    Dot xx

  12. If only we had a magic wand. I know every Mother could use one. Wave it and everything would be ok. But somehow the magic comes later, when we see that regardless of our fears, things worked out alright.

  13. I'm sorry you are sad about your daughter moving away. I hope that she will be happy and you will find a way to connect with her that will help ease your missing her. So many tears for our chldren huh? Hugs
    Now i'm going to check out the other "Change" link.

  14. Janet - she will come home. That is my feelings on this. She is healing and just needs to remove herself completely from all the painful memories. Everything will visually be fresh there. Every moment will not be in the midst of a lost heart memory. But she chooses a place full of previous memories where she will be remembering previous times and will be able to heal her heart and still feel close to her family heart. Meanwhile you get to still love her and know she is evolving. As a mother it is such a delicat balance of being the mother and doing what a good mother does: love, let go, support emotionally from the soul, listen, continue your own evolution, watch, and love some more.

  15. Don't be sad Dear Friend, all that matters is that you love each other no matter where she is. The blessings of children comes with a price, sometimes we find ourselves thinking that we know what they should do best....and they have other ideas. She has somethings she needs to deal with in silence, in a place she can find new adventures, where her story will not continue to replay. She will always be yours. just wait with your arms wide open.
    Your, Mary

  16. Janet,

    I feel so sad because you're sad. It is hard enough when a daughter chooses to live such a long ways away, but it's even worse with you because you think it is a bad decision. But as much as we'd like to save them from themselves, they have to learn to accept the consequences of their decisions.

  17. I would be upset to. My daughter keeps telling me when college finishes she is moving on to a warmer climate. I told I would be coming to so get a two bedroom

  18. OH Janet, I feel for you as I would cry too if my daughter were to move far away. I guess we just have to trust that our kids are big enough to make decisions about their own lives whether we think they are good decisions or not. Your daughter obviously feels she needs to do this and it could well be a positive move in her healing process which you may not see right now. My son lost his best mate three years ago to a car accident and it was a tough road for him too. He dropped out of the college/TAFE fitness course he was studying at the time.....he just wasn't himself for a while. I guess it is all part of the grieving process but it hurts to see our loved ones in so much emotional pain and we feel so helpless because we can't make things better for them. New/old turf may be just what your daughter needs right now.

    Once she has settled in Illinois, you will be able to visit each other too...think of the fun you will have catching up.

  19. Oh Janet. I am so sorry about your daughter moving away. Maybe it will all work out for her. But I know how bad it hurts your heart.
    It kills me each time Allison has to leave to go home, even though she isnt' my birth daughter, she is actually closer to me than my real daughter is. Hang in there Janet,,and heres a Big Hug for you!


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